One of the first things I had to do after getting hired at CBC was take a personality test known as the Enneagram. At the time, I didn’t understand the significance of it, but it has become such an incredible tool for me in regards to interacting with others and getting to know myself better.
I am a Type 3 aka The Achiever, The Performer, or The Effective Person. And if you’re into it, I also identify as a 3w2. There’s plenty of great information out there that explains the nine different Enneagram personalities in detail so I’ll be brief in my explanation. I thrive on getting things done. I enjoy order, collaboration, and success. My biggest desire is to feel valued and my biggest fear is not feeling valued. More importantly, Will Smith is also a 3. I highly recommend taking the test if you haven’t already! You’ll be blown away by the accuracy of the results and just how helpful it can be for your work and personal relationships.
The reason I mention this is to reveal some of my shortcomings, in hopes that you might get something out of my external processing. As an effective person, I often find myself getting so caught up in day-to-day tasks that I miss out on opportunities for meaningful conversation with people. For the longest time, I assumed that my inability to snap out of work mode is what prevented me from being more sociable (I do love people, despite what society thinks about introverts), but a deeper issue was revealed to me not too long ago. I’m a people pleaser and as much as I don’t want to admit it, I care what people think of me. Shocker, right? Before a conversation even begins, I end up just getting overwhelmed by thoughts of inferiority or comparison, resulting in me giving up on wanting to socialize altogether. It’s also difficult for me to maintain eye contact with someone when I’m talking to them, yet all my life I’ve been told that I’m a good listener because of how attentive I am when people are talking to me. My physical insecurities also cause me to turn my “good side” towards people when I’m having a conversation. With all that said, I present to you the moral of the story:
Lately, I’ve been becoming more confident and outgoing simply because I’m starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I’m learning to embrace my quirks, weirdness, shyness, and whatever other traits that I used to see as flaws. I’m being intentional about making time for small talk even when I feel stressed out about meeting a deadline or not being productive enough. I’m being intentional about speaking boldly and confidently when talking to people. I’m doing my best to love myself knowing that I’ve neglected it for so long. This is such a simple idea but a major issue for so many people. The breakthrough for me was when I began to articulate and name the things about myself that I didn’t like, so that I could expel the lies and negativity from my mind. It’s not always a quick or easy process, but surrendering the intimate and messy parts of your personality to the Lord is what sets you free to embrace who He has called you to be, for His glory.
As I mentioned earlier, there are dozens of Enneagram tests out there that you can take, but here’s a link to a free one: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test